EnglandXChubby!Reader To Be Loved

Was this life being fair or not?

That was what you were thinking whenever you didn’t have something to do and just sank into your thoughts. At first you would think of something positive or plan what you would do next. However, those thoughts often led you to negative thoughts as scenes from school came back to your mind. You would remember how some people in school mocked you just because you were a bit bigger than them. Well, you were not that big, you were not overweight either. You were just a bit chubbier that other girls in school. You knew the fact and you were always aware of your own condition. Of course you had tried this and that, but it’s not that simple to decrease it. Anyone who met you, maybe from you cousins to your parents’ friends always gave you the same advice again and again it made you upset. Did they really think that this is as easy as turning your palm up-side-down?

You really wanted to ignore them, but they just came up with new and old advices every time. Also, they told you unwillingly. You could see that they thought of something else when giving advice for you and you hated that. That’s why you just let them entered your right ear and then let them out your left. They just didn’t understand how hard you tried to do it. At least, you decreased your portion by now. Even just a bit was called an attempt. But you would eat fast whenever you were hungry.

Now that you went to high school, things were getting worse. Good people would be good, and bad people would use someone else for their fun. You were one of those ‘someone else’ actually. There were some skinny girls that mocked you whenever they met you. They spoke like they were giving ‘advices’ for you but in a really rude way. You tried your best to ignore them and you succeed. Also, you would try your best just to avoid them on your ways to class, cafeteria and school gate. If you spotted them on your way to the class, you would take another route even if it made your walk farther, but if it made you safe, then no problem. You always anticipated the time. You would go early to class in case of something like this happened.

Beside those cruel people, there were also a few that you could call good people. You had some friends, girls and boys. For boys you had that hamburger lover Alfred, the tea lover Arthur, the pasta lover Feliciano, and the anime lover Kiku. For girls you had the cute and kind Lily, the waffle lover Bella and the strong woman Elizaveta. You also made friends with their friends, but these were your most close friends. You often hang out with the girls. They didn’t mind about your body and accepted who you were. That made you happy, really happy.

Lily always encouraged you to be confident with them and told you not to mind what those cruel people told you. Bella was also a big help in term of confident, but she just liked to give you some of her waffles. Eliza liked you this way because you were warm and fluffy if you kept being chubby. Alfred and Arthur always accompanied you at the cafeteria with the girls and Alfred always told you that he would help you in every way you needed. Feliciano also liked you because you were cute like this and that he could pinch you cheek, just like children. You and Kiku had a good term for watching anime. They were a bit strange… but you could be yourself around them and that you didn’t have to be scared that they’d mock you. Whatever your actions were, all of you just had your happy time with each other.

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Now you were on your way to your last class. You were walking alone because the others’ classes were different from yours, well except for Arthur, but he was forced to accompany Alfred. You hugged your books and your eyes always looked for those cruel people who mocked you, so that you could avoid them before they noticed you. As you walked, you could feel that other students were looking at you and whispered things, but you just quickened your pace and ignored them. When you were about to turn left, you suddenly gasped.

There in the hallway, almost right in front of you, were those cruel skinny girls who thought they were popular and famous and that they were elite people who were not as the same level with the ones different than them. You really wanted to turn around and looked for another route, but they already noticed you and like you were their pet or whatever, they commanded you to stop right there and then they walked to you. You paused and just wished that you could get away from them. If they wanted to be really cruel, they could.

“Hey, fatty, give me your homework!”

You just looked at the leader girl and gave her a confused look.

“You hear me, give me your work!”

You hugged your books tighter and stepped backward a bit, “No! You’re the one who don’t do it, so I don’t want to give you!”

Yes, you were not going to give up easily. You tried to fight them with either acts or how loud and stern your voice was.

“Hah! You pig ass want to defy me?! You’re not even worth to stand in front of me to tell you the truth! And what you have is also mine!”

You pressed your back and bag against the wall, not wanting to let them stole your bag and still hugged your stuff. “No way in bloody hell, you slut! What’s mine is mine only!”

As if that was the cue, that leader girl raised her hand to the air, ready to slap you. You shut your eyes as you were scared and were ready for any impact she would do. However, before that girl could do it, a voice from your right stopped her.

“Stop it right there!”

You shot opened your eyes and looked at your right. There was someone there standing in the hall way, but you couldn’t figure it out. Somehow your vision became blurry. You heard the girls scowled and growled as they went away. Your back slid down the wall and you felt really relieved that you were safe. Your heart still beat faster than normal but it also started to subside. You heard foot steps towards you and a voice, “Are you alright?”

Your eyes were still blurry. It seemed you didn’t realize that tear had gotten their way to your eyes. It happened almost every time when you tried your best not to cry in front of those cruel people. You tried your best not to look weak and be strong instead since you knew that if you showed your weakness, they would use it against you. You didn’t respond to the man’s question. You wanted some time to regain your composure and hold back your tears. That’s when you felt a warm hand on your cheek and fingers that wiped your tears.

“For the love of anything, please don’t cry, love.”

From what the man had said, now you knew who it was. The one and only person who called you ‘love’ in school… was Arthur. You wiped your eyes off of tears with your wrist and finally got a good look at the person. Your eyes immediately made contact with his and his eyes showed concern. His eyebrows furrowed and he was still waiting for you to say something.

You slowly stood and he did too, following your gesture. You looked down at first so that you could prepare your face and feelings. When you were ready, you lifted your head and set the best smile you had ever had. “Thank you for saving me, Arthur. I don’t know what will happen if you don’t,” you said. He still looked at you with concerned face and asked, “Are you alright?” even though it was the same question he asked you earlier, it seemed different. You looked at him and your brain tried to get the best answer to that question. You sighed and smiled, “Yes, I’m fine. Thanks.”

~Arthur’s POV~

I looked at (name). Even though she was smiling, I knew she was hiding something, but it would be rude for me to ask. It’s fortunate that I was able to get that stupid git early to his class and went to my own class early too. If I didn’t, I didn’t know what would happen to (name). Though I arrived on time, but I also felt that I was almost too late to safe here. If I was with her or at least arrived earlier, then she wouldn’t have to face something like that.

I never understood why people were being so cruel to ones that were different from them. It was just a tiny difference and yet, people made it big difference. I thought (name) was better that those girls, who were just beautiful on the outside but they were trashes in the inside. I’d known (name) for a long time and I knew how hard she tried, and I would not want to blame her. She was better and that’s that.

I didn’t feel like pushing her more for details so I began another topic, “Alright then, let’s go to our class, it’s beginning soon.”

She just nodded and we walked together to the class.

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~Normal POV~

You were walking down the street to your house. It was good that when your class was over, Arthur accompanied you half way to your house. He did want to walk you home, but you saw that he got something else to do so you let him go and now you were walking alone. Not that you mind since you were always walking alone at a time like this. Your girl friends had their own relatives and boyfriends to go home with.

When you arrived at home, your mom welcomed you with a cheerful voice which you answered with a monotone voice. You went upstairs to your room and did things before finally settled in front of your laptop. You always did it. You would play games, draw, or even write stories to escape from reality and to forget what happened at school. This way, you didn’t have to be burdened with depression at school, especially the one that was given to you mentally. You were reading a fanfiction when your mom opened the door and called you for a dinner.

“Honey, let’s go downstairs and eat together~” she said cheerfully. She was a bit like Feliciano, but was mature. You couldn’t dislike how she behaved for her behavior always set your moods up. Your mom was kind and trustable. You mostly told her about your body and she would give you encouragement and sometimes joked about it, so you would not feel in a bad mood. She defended you when someone talked bad about you. She understood you. It was nice to have her as your mother.

“’Kay, mom. I’m going after I finish this one.”

“Okay, dear. I’ll wait,” she said. Instead of going downstairs, your mom leaned by the door and looked at your figure. She sighed. She knew something was off and was planning to ask you about it. When you were finished, you got up and approached her. You two walked down the stairs together and ate together just like you usually did. You lived together with your parents but this time, your father was on his work in another country for 2 months. After you two had your meals, you were about to get up and do the cleaning when your mom stopped you.

“Dear, can we have a talk? We can do the dishes later,” she smiled and you returned to your seat to listen to whatever she had to said.

“Okay... what is it mom? Is it about dad?”

“Um.. no, perhaps... It’s about you.”

“Huh?” you said, a little bit confused.

“What happened at school? You looked sad and down. I know it even if you try to hide it, so don’t worry and tell me everything,” was all she said in one line. She knew you had faced some problems before and now she wanted you to tell her everything. You huffed and started to tell her the whole story. It was useless to lie to her, she’d find out eventually. So you were being really honest to your mother. You had told her about your friends before and even those cruel people who made fun of you and do rude things to you. You told her everything, nothing to hide. Today’s story ended with Arthur saving you from those rude skinny girls. You mom had been listening closely to you and she would just responded with a nod.

“So… you put a really good show, don’t let them use you weakness and you’ll win!” she said with a spirit. Well she’s more cheerful than you were. You just glad that she agreed with you. You just chuckled together with her. That was until she came up with random things like this.

“And it’s thanks to Arthur for being such a good man and a gentleman, isn’t it?” she said in teasing tone and it got you.

You involuntarily blushed and became quiet at the tone of your mom’s. “Isn’t it? Isn’t it?” she kept teasing you and you tried your best to hide your red face. It seemed your mom knew that you something for Arthur and as the matter of fact, it had been for years. You and Arthur were childhood best friends and as time passed, you had liked him and it turned into something deeper than that. Arthur was really kind and caring. Though he had pranked you when you were children, he had changed into a gentleman as he grew up. He didn’t mind being your friend despite your body. He didn’t leave you.

You also didn’t have to hide this one anymore, “Okay, okay, yes it is. You don’t have to push me like that.”

“I thought so, honey~ If you loved him then how about getting him as your boyfriend?”

You nearly slammed your head to the table hard but you were able to prevent it. “W-What?!”

“Well, you know him since childhood and you told me that he’s handsome and really hot now~”

Oh my god… now you regretted that you told her that. You sighed again. What could you do now that she already knew that? You looked at her and began to think of that possibility. Thinking about it made you sad actually. How come a man like Arthur could like someone like you? There are a lot of girls in school that were much better and more beautiful than you. You put your elbows on the table and said, “Mom, don’t ask for the impossible…”

Your mom took a hint of your sadness and asked in a more concerned way, “May I know why, honey?”

You looked at somewhere else and sighed again. This was going to be a hard time for you, but you still wanted to share some of your thoughts.

“You see, Arthur is like a perfect man… minus his bad temper. He was kind and he’s good looking. He can charm every women at school just by his looks,” you smiled and let out a small laugh. “Meanwhile, I’m just an ordinary girl, not to mention that I’m … well, fat… and I don’t even have any beautiful side. I love games, animes… something an ordinary girl won’t love. I had told you about Lily, hadn’t I? That’s what you called an ordinary girl, cute and caring. It’s just that… I’m no match for him, that’s all.”

Your mother looked at you and said, “But you still love him right?”

You inhaled and exhaled. Actually you had thought about that. If your love was unrequited, then why should you go through such pain? You had thought of it many times. Should you just release your feeling for him easily and act like best friends forever? It was a hard decision, but that one time, you had decided.

“Hmm… let’s start with this. I’ve been thinking that a human live with love everywhere and that this human is born with two things. One is ‘wants to be loved’ and the other is ‘wants to love someone’. So! I thought that maybe I should do at least one of them so I choose to at least love someone… well a man in that kind of way even though I won’t be loved that way. Of course I love you, mom.”

After hearing that, your mom was silent for a while then she took your hands and said, “Don’t forget that I love you too, so don’t worry about being loved. We love you more than anything.”

“Yes, mom, I know.”

You two got up but your mom told you to go upstairs and rest. You followed what she said and took a rest.

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It had been a week since that day and you were going to school like always. On your way, you met Lovino, Feliciano’s older brother, and Bella. You greeted them and walked together with them. “Lovi, where’s Feli?” you asked which was answered with a growl. “Don’t you call me that, idiota! Feliciano is sick today so he won’t come to school.” You wore a sad face, “Aw… I hope he gets well soon.” Today you actually had a same class with Feliciano and you had waited for today. It was art class and you knew how well Feliciano was in art. You had him as your extra mentor as well.

When you arrived at school, three of you parted ways. You went with Bella for a while then you parted again. You met Lily and Eliza just like former days. You went to class like always, cautious. When it was lunch time, you had your lunch with Lily, Eliza and Bella. After that, you had another class and the next would be your last. On your way, you found Alfred, who was walking as he played games in his phone. You walked over to him and called, “Alfie!”

He turned his gaze from his phone to you, “Hi, dudette!”

You looked over to see what he’s playing, “Is it fun?”

He paused the game and looked at you, “Yes! Do you want to try it? I’ll send you the date later, if you want.” You nodded eagerly, “Of course, of course! I want it!” Seeing you acted like a child made him laughed his signature laugh. You laughed as well. As you two walked slower, Alfred to keep playing and you to watch him play, something came up in your mind, “Hey, where’s Arthur?” It was the last class and you shared the same class with Arthur. Usually Alfred would force Arthur to be with him as long as possible with many reasons, so it was rare to see them not together.

“He said he had some business to attend. Maybe he went to the library again,” Alfred replied, his eyes still to the phone. “Oh…” was your only response. You heard a tone from his phone and just by looking at him; you knew he won the game. After he put his phone in his jacket’s pocket, he started a conversation again, “Do you want to meet Arthur that badly?” he said with a grin. You quickly looked at him and you didn’t know if he noticed you blush but you tried to act normally, “No, it’s just… it’s rare to not seeing you together. You often force him to be with you. That’s all.”

“That’s all?” he asked again.

“Yeah.” You replied briefly.

He pouted, something he would do if he’s not amused, “That’s no fun at all.”

You just stayed quiet and kept walking. After some time, you heard a voice called, “Ahoy, Alfreeeeddd!!” you both turned your heads to see behind you and you saw a group of five people, all men. “What are you doing there, our next class is the other way!” the one in the middle shouted. You glanced at Alfred and you saw that his face showed confusion. Then he just realized that he should take that turn to his next class. “We’re going first!” the man shouted and then all of them went to that turn. You looked at Alfred and he looked at you too. “Looks like we have to part ways. My class is over there, with Mathias and the others,” he said.

“Okay. I’ll see you later.”

“See ya later!” he said as he ran to catch up with those men. Now you were alone, but you’re not that far from your next class. When you were with Alfred or Lily or Eliza or Bella or whoever your friends were you didn’t have to be cautious because you knew they wouldn’t mess with you with them around. However, now that you were alone again, you had to be aware. You clutch your things tighter to your chest. When you were close to your class, suddenly someone pulled your bag to another route, making you fell to the floor. You yelped and your things were scattered on the floor. When you looked up it was those girls again.

The leader narrowed her eyes at you. You looked at her as brave as you could. You didn’t want to lose. Then the girl started, “You know, pig ass, my friend there,” she pointed to another girl behind her, “Is a fan of Alfred. Seeing you and him walk together is too disgusting for our eyes.”

What? You didn’t know what to think other than that word. So if she liked him then I couldn’t be together with Alfred? What nonsense.

“Alfred is like the hottest guy in school, and seeing you together is WRONG!” she said, emphasizing the word. “Alfred must have pities you for being a worthless trash.”

You tried to get up but she pushed you again. “And for giving us such a bad view… I think you need some punishment.” You looked at her, trying to understand what she implied by saying that. When she bent to pick your book, you knew what she wanted and you shouted, “Wait!”

The girl opened it and looked for a few pages then she started it. She grabbed the paper and tore the pages one by one, giving them to her friends just to be torn to pieces. You looked at them wide eyes. They tore your works of arts, stories and other things to pieces just before your eyes. “No! You can’t do that!!” you shouted as you wanted to take your book from her hands but she prevent you to do so and continued to ruin your book. You got up and tried to get it back as your heart was also broken to pieces just by seeing your works torn. You shouted again and again to make them stop but they kept going on until your book couldn’t be called a book again. The papers were all torn to pieces, falling in the air in front of your eyes and were scattered on the floor. You couldn’t do anything other than crying.

When they were satisfied, they threw your ‘book’ to you and went away. You just knelt there, didn’t know what to do with a broken heart and a mess like this. In your books, you had almost everything written and scribbled. Notes from class, new ideas of drawings and stories, drawings that made you felt relax in class and cheered you up. They were all turned to pieces. There’s no way you could fix them again. Those girls had torn them into tiny pieces of papers.

You let your mind worked and decided what to do next. Once you had, you decided to skip class and went to wherever it was to make your heart less hurt. You started to gather the pieces as many as you could. You gathered them as fresh tears fell down. You couldn’t hold it back again. It was too much for you to bear. How could they treat you like this? Just because of your chubby body? That was the most unnecessary reason. As you took the last piece you could spot, you heard a loud voice calling you and loud steps toward you. You knew who it was, but you didn’t want to face him now. You took your bag quickly and put the things in your bag before standing up and were ready to run. However he grabbed your shoulder hard and that was enough to prevent you from going.

You stopped but then you attempted to be free from him. He didn’t let you go easily though.

“(name), what happened?! Tell me!” his voice was full of demand but you just couldn’t speak. Not after something like that happened. You shook your head, wishing that he would let you go for that response, but he didn’t. He just kept asking you and wouldn’t let you go. You wanted to go out so badly that at last, you turned to face him and told him to let go of you with a hoarse and small voice… and a face that was ruined with tears. “Just… let me go…”

With that, he loosened his grab and you were able to run out of school. It was the last class so it would be okay to be out of school. You ran until you were tired and then you walked the rest of your way to a park. It was your favorite park even though it was rather far from your house. The park was full with green and colorful flowers. Also it’s not that crowded with people that it was nice to be a place for you to either draw or write. You sat on a bench and tried to calm your heart. It wasn’t easy. When you opened your bag and saw them again, it made your heart broke even more. You just stayed then, trying not to cry and calming yourself.

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~Arthur’s POV~

(name)… she was… crying? Why?

Was it those girls again?

I couldn’t think straight. My mind’s full of (name).

I couldn’t forget her face. Her beautiful face that was ruined with tears… I couldn’t forget it. It was still clear in my mind. I didn’t know what it was, but something was growing in my heart. Was it sadness? Or anger? Or what? I didn’t know. It’s just… maybe the word ‘hate’ described my feelings. I hated it. I hated to see her face like that. Tears falling down her cheeks, her eyes were not shining like always, her lips formed a frown instead of that wide smile… everything I saw earlier… I hated it!

Her voice was hoarse, it nothing like her usual cheery voice. I didn’t know what to do other than releasing her shoulder. I was too shocked to see her face like that. It felt like something held me back to do anything to prevent her from going.

Therefore I decided to go meet her after this class. Though it was useless to be in this class because my mind was not into the lesson, but to (name), I … I had to think it over of how I should meet her later. But I would go to her. I had to go to her!

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~Normal POV~

You were still sitting on the bench. You didn’t know how much time had passed but it must have been long enough because you could see a tint of orange from the sky. The school must have been ended and you knew no one was going to search you as they thought that you had gone home earlier than they did. No one would come to you.

You exhaled and for the last time you looked at your torn works before finally you had calmly thought it over. You got up and walked to a trash bin then you threw them away there.  You sighed once more. It was a hard decision, but you had to move on. Your eyes and throat were sore due to your cries. At least you wanted your eyes to look normal enough so you could face your mother like usual. You didn’t want to worry her.

You walked around the park and found a fountain. You walked towards it and scooped a handful of water then you washed your eyes with it. This should do it, you thought. Then you turned your body, ready to go home.

“(NAME)!”

Was what you heard and made you looked around to see who it was. There some meters before you was Arthur. You could see that he was panting. Did he run here from school? It was far enough from there. You didn’t move at all and just stared at his figure which was going closer and closer to you as he panted. When he was in front of you, he was quiet. You just stared at him. What he did next surprised you. He suddenly wrapped his arms around your shoulders. It had been a long time since he last hugged you. He didn’t say a word and just hugged you. You were too perplexed to speak.

After a moment of silence, he finally spoke but he still hugged you.

“(name)… I thought I’m going to lose you… you were not around school and you were not in places you usually were… I called you but you didn’t answer, I called your mother but she said that you weren’t home. I was so scared of losing you…” he said.

After you hear that, you couldn’t help but cry. To hear that someone was afraid to lose you… it was something you didn’t expect from anyone other than your family. “I’m so happy to find you here… please don’t go away from me,” he said as his hand stroke your hair. It made you cried even harder and you started to speak, “I… I’m fat- A-and t-they said I’m w-worthless… I… I don’t know what to do…” you spoke as you cried on his shoulder.

“Ssh… no, you’re not. Please don’t say thing like that. You’re not worthless. You’re not at all…”

“I- I know that… I won’t be loved… I know that… that is the truth… but I- I can’t stand it anymore!”

Hearing that, Arthur released you from his hug which made you shocked and made negative things came to your mind. He grabbed your shoulder and said with a loud voice, “No! You’re wrong! You are loved! Your parent’s loved you! Your friends, Lily, Eliza and the others loved as much!”

You were taken aback with his words. As you thought of what he said, more tears streamed down your cheeks. Family, friends… they loved you. “T-they… love me…” you repeated his words.

“Yes! So don’t you dare saying that no one loves you or you are not loved! We loved you. You’re not worthless at all,” his voice calmed down.

“I beg of you, please don’t say it again. You’re beautiful and your smiles always make my day… I was really worried about you, love. I can’t think straight when you ran from me.”

You had calmed down and you asked, “Why?”

“Because I have realized for a long time… that I love you, (name)… in a way which a man will love a woman in his life…”

You stared at him and he just kissed your forehead before saying, “I love you, no matter what.”

You looked at him and slowly form a small smile which made Arthur smiled too.

“… you…”

“Hm?”

“Thank you, Arthur… Thank you for loving me.”

He hugged you once more and said, “No problem, love. You are loved by your family, your friends… and by me.”